#016 The Simple 3 Step Framework For Making Tough Decisions
Short term comfort is always the wrong answer.
A few months ago, I met with a young man who was trying to become a firefighter. He was undoubtedly intelligent, but something he mentioned stuck with me.
At 24, he had excelled academically in both high school and college, he was a college football player, and earned a degree in microbiology. Mind you, he finished at the top of his class in both high school and college.
I asked about why he chose microbiology.
He explained that he had initially wanted to be a doctor, but when he realized how much school there would be and how difficult medical school was, he had a change of heart.
He opted for paramedic school, and decided instead to become a firefighter.
While there’s certainly nothing wrong with that, it was sad that he had sidestepped his dream simply because it would be “hard” in the short term.
We all grapple with challenging decisions.
So, when confronted with a “hard” decision, how should you proceed?
The 3 Step Formula
I’ve previously mentioned an approach in a newsletter: think of decision-making through the perspective of your 90-year-old self. Reflect on how, at that age, you would assess the choices you made earlier in life.
Doing this has helped me a ton. And while I don’t always get the answer I want, it’s usually the answer I need.
We’re biologically predisposed to seek comfort.
Avoiding immediate discomfort seems tempting since the pain isn’t felt right away, but this is almost always a trap.
Persisting in this pattern can result in what I’ve termed “comfort creep,” where the majority of your choices, even minor ones, lean towards convenience.
In my experience, every time I’ve chosen the seemingly “easier” route in the short run, it was always the wrong decision.
Recently, I stumbled upon another decision-making framework in a newsletter called “The Prism” by Gurwinder Bhogal on Substack, which I find invaluable. (For those interested, I highly recommend giving it a read here.)
This approach is called “Solomon’s Paradox.”
For context, Solomon, often known as King Solomon, reigned as the King of Israel around 950 BC and was renowned for his incredible wisdom.
But, like most of us, his wisdom stopped where his personal life began.
Solomon’s Paradox prompts you to view yourself from an external perspective.
The Solomon Paradox encourages you to look at yourself in the 3rd person.
Imagine your friend tells you all about his relationship problems with his girlfriend.
How easy is it to solve the problem?
Somehow you always come up with the most logical, straightforward advice, that, if followed, would solve the problem immediately.
But, put yourself in that same situation and you’re fumbling around in the dark like a blindfolded zombie.
Next time you find yourself faced with a difficult decision, try this:
Take a step back. If your friend was making this decision, what advice would you give them? Chances are it’s sound, logical advice — you should listen.
Next, take that sound and logical conclusion and run it through the lens of the 90 year old self.
Finally, make sure whatever you do aligns with your vision of your best future self.
Never give up on purposeful and meaningful goals for short term comfort.
That’s always the wrong decision.
You got this.