#018 How To Find The Perfect Mate
Because the bar has never been lower...
I was talking to a young man the other day — he’s a bigger guy, 25, has a good job, makes quite a bit of money, etc. etc.
Suffice to say, he’s all the things “girls want” on paper.
He mentioned that he had recently met a girl, and he was interested in going out with her sometime.
Because I’m, apparently, an old man at the age of 36, I foolishly asked, “Why don’t you just ask her out, see if she wants to get coffee or dinner?”
He literally laughed out loud, and informed me that that’s not how it works these days.
As far as I could tell, here are the required steps:
You have to connect on some social media platform, like a few posts to show you’re interested, but not too interested.
After the likes, you need to message them on some social media app, but again, don’t show too much interest.
Finally, if, and only if, this social media dance goes well, you meet up with some other friends in a group sometime — but still play it cool.
Now I’m not saying any of this is the guy’s fault, he was just relaying what standard practice is for young men and women these days.
In fact, he’s far from alone, I’ve heard from lots of young men who echo the same idea.
The thought of just being direct and asking a girl on a date who was clearly interested in him was crazy.
There’s always been a “dance” to the dating game, but with the onslaught of technology and the inability of so many people to communicate outside of social media, honestly makes me sad.
I wish someone would have told me this when I was younger, but it’s the best advice I could give to young men (and women) who are lonely and looking for a significant other.
The person you want to be with is exactly as interested in playing games as you are.
In other words, if you want a serious relationship and have had enough of the games, the person you’re really looking for won’t want to play the games either.
You see each other for who you are, you forgive the awkwardness or nervous silence, and you just enjoy being together.
I say this because this simple idea is a great filter.
Next time you meet a girl you’d like to ask out, just do it, and if she’s put off by the fact that you didn’t jump through the hoops of Instagram or Facebook Messenger — move on.
Trust me, you didn’t want her in the first place.
The girl you want is NOT interested in playing games, and is secretly dying to meet a guy who has the balls to ask her on a real date.
Be direct, be kind, and have the courage to tell her you’re interested.
You got this.