#004 How Young Men Can Be The Hero of Their Life

Humans need a call to action. You don’t wake up and decide to be a hero — you must have a challenge to overcome.

“Human beings do not make major life decisions unless something challenges them to do so.”

Building A Storybrand by Donald Miller

Q: In the Matrix, who would Neo be if Morpheus hadn’t challenged him to take the red or blue pill?

A: Just another sad guy living in the Matrix.

Q: Who would David Goggins be without seeing the Navy SEALS on TV one night?

A: A self described fat guy spraying for bugs knowing that he quit on himself.

So what does this mean for you, and what can you use as a challenge to improve your life?

As I see it there are 3 challenges that get people to improve their lives.

First – a tragedy.

We’ve all heard stories of someone who has hit rock bottom, woken up, and had a “come to Jesus” talk with themself about how their life needed to change.

But it doesn’t always need to be this dramatic.

I work with a guy who was a career carpenter for about 6 years before he made the switch to career firefighting. He’s a great friend, and an incredibly talented craftsman.

When he first got hired I asked him why he decided to make the change?

His answer: “I was sick of taking shits in a flamin’ hot port o’ john on the job site.”

Fair enough man.

If you’ve ever had to endure an overflowing public restroom in hot humid weather you know exactly what he means. Then imagine that every day for the next 30 years.

That may be a silly example, but you get the point.

I don’t wish tragedy on anybody, ever.

But, is there something, or someone, in your life that has become so insufferable you need to make a change?

It’s a question worth thinking about.

Second – a goal.

Perhaps you’re a goal oriented person.

This is a good thing.

We’ve all heard the story of the person who wakes up one day and just decides to do X.

Build a company, find a significant other, make a bunch of money, you name it.

These are inspiring stories, and for a lot of people just picking a goal and moving towards it works really well.

But if you’re anything like me the goal itself isn’t enough.

You need more – you need a why.

Third – a responsibility.

This is the one I really want to focus on.

For better or worse the majority of the conversation in western society has been dominated by rights not responsibilities.

Depending on who you talk to it may even be framed in a good vs. bad dichotomy. Rights are freeing, fun, and allow you to do what you want whenever you want (yay!). Responsibilities are constraining, hard, and tie you down (boo!).

This could not be more incorrect.

I’ve found that the joy and meaning in my life is directly correlated to the amount of responsibility I’ve voluntarily taken on.

When I was first introduced to this idea I was skeptical.

I, like most other people, thought no way this is nonsense, who wouldn’t want to be free and do what they want all the time?

After all, isn’t he goal to drink daiquiris on the beach?

Aren’t we supposed to save money our entire lives just so we can retire and do whatever we feel like doing?

No responsibilities.

But when I took a closer look I realized that every single person I respected and admired not only took on responsibility – they took on a lot of responsibility.

Think for yourself, is there anyone you truly admire and respect that hasn’t done this?

Maybe you respect and admire your parents – having a child is one of the single most meaningful acts people will do in their lifetime.

Maybe you respect and admire a major philanthropist or leader of an organization — taking charge of a group and leading others is an enormous responsibility.

Or maybe you really admire some social media influencer? Whether you realize it or not, anyone who has a large audience has a responsibility to both their listeners as well as a team of people that help them produce content.

That influencer is responsible for all of that.

If you’re still not convinced, consider the flip side.

Who are some of the least respected people in our society – the “spoiled rich kid” who is 40 years old living in their parents basement.

No responsibility = no respect.

No matter what it is you want, or who it is you admire, chances are that person has voluntarily adopted a lot of responsibility.

But, what if your life is pretty good?

You’re comfortable, you have what you need, but you feel this inner angst to do something more meaningful.

You know you’re capable of more, you just don’t know what to do, and worse you don’t know where to start.

This is where I believe responsibility comes in. You can start by taking an inventory of the people you admire, or people you would want to emulate.

Then figure out what it is that they do, or you want to emulate, and how you can take one small step towards voluntarily adopting responsibility in that area.

Here’s an example.

Most of you know me from the YouTube channel FirefighterNOW.

Making videos that have reached millions of people around the world has been an incredible experience.

But I wanted more. I could skip making videos for a month or two if things got too busy and there were no problems.

Thus, why I started this email list.

I wanted to speak directly to a smaller group of people as opposed to a larger group of casual observers.

I also wanted to talk about more than just fighting fires.

I want to talk about the things that will, hopefully, have a positive impact on people's lives by expanding on ideas that have improved my life and the life of people around me.

Ironically, I love making videos, but I get 10x more joy out of writing this one email every week than any video I've ever made.

So what’s my responsibility?

Show up every week and write this newsletter. Might not seem like much, but I’ll be here – every week.

The responsibilities you choose will determine how heroic you need to be. The bigger the responsibility the more heroism required.

Just know that if you ever find yourself stuck in life there are few things that can turn your life around like voluntarily taking on a big responsibility.

The Question:

Fortunately, most of us are not in the midst of a life altering tragedy.

But, most of us aren't ready or willing to dedicate our lives to some huge, but arbitrary, goal.

Most of us are somewhere in the middle looking for meaning, purpose, and drive but don't know where to start.

What’s one small responsibility you can adopt to move you one step closer to becoming the hero of your own story?

Your adoption of responsibility will make you a more reliable person and not only improve your life – but the life of those around you.

When you face your fears and adopt the responsibility of becoming that best vision of yourself, your life will improve.

Even better, you act as that catalyst for others to improve as well.

We need you to become that vision of yourself.

You got this.