#008 If You're Stuck In Life - Start Here.

You must chart your own path.

“You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or path, it is someone else's path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else's way, you are not going to realize your potential.”

–Joseph Campbell

I was scared.

My wife and I had just had our first child, and I had exactly zero experience with children — hell, I’d never even changed a diaper. 

If you have kids, I’m sure you remember how those first few months felt. 

Prior to my son being born, my wife told me she wanted to be a stay at home mom. We agreed that having one of us at home to raise our children was what we thought was best.

However, this presented another problem. 

Fifty percent of the income would go away. 

I was working two jobs, my day job as a firefighter/paramedic, and I was selling real estate on the side. 

If you’ve ever worked a commission only sales job (think real estate agent, insurance agent, etc) you know it can take some time to get your business up and going. 

I had been an agent for about a year or so and was getting some traction. The problem is when you work in sales you quickly realize that more sales = more time. 

More time selling means less time with your wife and new baby.

And I was gone, a lot.

If I wasn’t at the fire station during my shift or picking up overtime, I was driving around showing houses to lukewarm buyers.

One afternoon I came home and I could tell my wife was stressed. We were both new at being parents, and this had been a particularly difficult day. 

She was in tears (my wife is not a crier so if she’s in tears I know something is wrong), and told me that she needed me to be home more, not just for her sake, but for our son's sake as well. 

She was right – I needed to do something. 

Over the next couple weeks I thought hard about what I could do. I had this old website called FirefighterNOW that made a few bucks a month but that was about it. 

I had uploaded a few faceless videos to YouTube about a year prior and had reached about 1000 subscribers. 

The feedback on the videos was great – in fact, at that time, all of the feedback was positive. 

One afternoon I was listening to a lecture by Jordan Peterson, and in the lecture he had mentioned an idea from Carl Jung, “That which you need most will be where you least want to look.”

I believe the way he stated it in the lecture was, “In filth it will be found.” 

That hit me like a ton of bricks.

In other words, that which you are scared to do is exactly what you should be doing.

That night, I couldn’t sleep.

I kept thinking about the saying in filth it will be found, over, and over, and over. 

And I finally worked up the courage to ask myself, what do I know I should be doing, that I’m not doing, because I’m scared of doing it?

I’m not particularly religious, but if you ever find yourself in a desperate spot in live you can think of that as a genuine prayer. 

I knew I had something of value — teaching people about the fire service — but as an introverted guy, the thought of putting my face and opinions on the internet made me anxious.

So I bit the bullet, made my first videos and posted them.

And honestly, it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life.

What’s weird about these situations is that when you genuinely ask yourself that you’ll get an answer – and it’s probably not the answer you want.

Even worse, the answer you’ll get doesn’t give you a clear path to a goal – it puts you on the path “...at the darkest point, where there is no path” 

And now you have a choice. 

Follow the “no path” path that you know you should take, or convince yourself that it’s actually better/smarter/a good time/more practical to do something else instead.

Perhaps, this is the very definition of what it means to have faith.

Now I wish I could tell you some happily ever after story. Where I went on to do X, made a billion dollars, and life was all rainbows and butterflies. 

But, I don’t think that’s how it actually works in real life. 

I think following the answer to that question is the key to living a meaningful life because it puts you on the path that only you should follow. 

Question:

What do you know you should be doing, that you’re not doing, because you’re scared of doing it?

If you feel lost or directionless this is the best place to start.

You got this.