#012 The 4 Ways Young Men Are Struggling Like Never Before
The only thing that will get the things done, is actually doing the thing.
This idea may sound like Mike Tyson wisdom, but I catch myself in this trap all the time.
We all have ideas, goals, and things we want to accomplish, but how much time do you actually dedicate to doing the thing?
If you're like me, probably not as much as you should.
Social media posts about doing the thing is not doing the thing.
Thinking about doing the thing is not doing the thing.
Talking about doing the thing is not doing the thing.
Planning on doing the thing is not doing the thing.
Wanting to do the thing is not doing the thing.
The only thing that will get things done, is actually doing the thing. That means bold, terrifying, unadulterated action.
Well, here I go…
You probably found me from the YouTube channel FirefighterNOW.
I’m a painfully private person, and most of you don’t know much about me personally because I make a conscious effort to rarely talk about myself on the channel.
On September 25, 2020, I posted my first video on the channel, and man was I nervous.
I’m actually a pretty introverted guy so the thought of putting myself out there was overwhelming.
But…
I wanted to create content to help people who were interested in the fire service have a roadmap of exactly how to work their way onto a department.
But…
That doesn’t answer the question why.
Why bother?
After all, I was already hired at a great department and well on my way.
I didn’t need to do it.
Sure it makes a few bucks on ads but certainly not enough to justify all the time and work necessary to learn how to use microphones, cameras, lighting, video editing, scriptwriting, video planning, photo editing, etc.
I did it because most people looking to join the fire service are young men that come from poor, working, and middle class backgrounds, typically have little formal education, and (in my opinion) are quickly becoming the most forgotten group in the country.
If you’re a young man with no resources, no role models, and no roadmap – you’re fucked.
I know because I was that young guy.
My father died when I was 15, and fortunately I had an incredibly loving and strong mother.
But two things I, and most young men, desperately need is direction and purpose.
Without it, men are lost.
Even worse, we now live in an atomized society where young men typically have one of two messages they hear – particularly on social media:
Option 1: You’re toxic, tyrannical, terrible, and hopeless and you should just “be better.” Not helpful.
Option 2: Be a man – make a bunch of money. Treat women like shit. Hookup with as many girls as you can, never get married, and if you do you’re a bitch. (The same guys who push option two are conveniently all too happy to sell you some BS online course about “how to be a man” or how to get laid.)
Granted, these are generalizations, but the message is similar nonetheless.
It’s not a secret that (1) the male suicide rate is increasing, (2) male loneliness is at an all time high, (3) men are dropping out of school and the labor force in record numbers, (4) males are still the largest perpetrators and victims of violence, (5) the majority of incarcerated people are male, and (6) males have fewer friends than ever.
If you’re a young man who doesn’t have a strong family or community (which is at least many, and more like most men) you’re susceptible to this.
I know because, again, I was once that kid.
Unfortunately, this issue has become politicized. It’s astounding to me how every major issue, political or not, must become a political issue.
For me, this has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with the fact that an enormous segment of the population is suffering, and it seems like there are few, if any, people that actually want to help or will offer solutions that get to the root of the issue.
Some people don’t care, and that’s ok, because if people cared about every problem in the world you’d be completely overwhelmed.
But many other people talk about the problem in a, “how can we keep/get men to our side of the political aisle?” As if men aren’t autonomous individuals who can think for themselves or, god forbid, be independent.
Also, not helpful.
Finally, here are a few things that I think you should know.
First, this is an incredibly nuanced issue. Many people and groups have suffered injustices over the years and me stating empathy for one group in no way intends to diminish another. We can walk and chew gum at the same time, thus we’re capable of having empathy for various groups of people.
Second, I’m fortunate to have a large platform on a major media outlet. I want to create content that does more than restate problems, but actually create beneficial and positive solutions – similar to how FirefighterNOW helped people get hired at fire departments. However, social media outlets like to silence people they don’t agree with – so who knows how long that will last.
Third, I’ll be honest, I’m pretty nervous about doing this. Like I said, this is a complex and nuanced issue, and there are many people who try to address the issues facing men and get absolutely crucified on a large scale. I mean, I’ve literally had people call my Chief and demand I be fired from just talking about firefighting tactics on the internet. Wild.
Fourth, there may be some people on this list, and certainly some people that are regular viewers of the YouTube channel, who will say no thanks, I’m only interested in learning about firefighting. That’s completely fair, all of the firefighting content will stay on the channel, and will always be available for those who are interested/need it.
I believe better men equal better societies.
What type of content do you think would actually be helpful to bring meaningful and helpful solutions to the problem?
So that’s me telling you way more than you probably hoped for, but I would appreciate your feedback.
And now that I’m at the end of this breakdown, I’ll bring it back to the original idea:
Like a lot of people I’ve been thinking about the thing, talking about the thing, planning the thing, and wanting to do the thing which is NOT actually doing the thing.
A lot of people are suffering.
It’s time to do the thing.
Finally, I posted a video to YouTube explaining the four areas young men struggle the most:
4 Ways Young Men Are Struggling
Question:
What excuses have you been accepting that are keeping you from actually doing the thing?
AND
What do you think would actually be helpful content solutions to the issues facing young/middle aged men?
You got this.