#011 The Root of Your Anxiety

Anxiety comes from too many options rather than a lack of options.

You’ve got skills. 

How many skills can vary from person to person – just know you’ve got them.

But, within each of the skills there’s  an almost infinite number of ways to use them. 

This gives you options – and options are good – but too many options can be overwhelming. 

Too many options leads to paralysis by analysis and eventually this becomes anxiety. 

You’re racing against the clock – the clock of life – and you know eventually your time will run out. 

Realizing this changed everything for me. 

For the longest time I thought anxiety was a result of feeling trapped or having no options. 

It’s not.

You’re feeling anxious because you’re paralyzed from not knowing which way to go.

Problem is just realizing this isn’t enough, because it leaves one important question unanswered. 

How do you decide which direction to go?

Let’s suppose you have several skills and you know you should be pursuing X. But, within X there are several different avenues you can take. 

Weigh the pros and cons by looking at your decision as your 90 year old self would. 

One of the most powerful ideas I’ve ever heard was from Douglas Murray. 

In life, you get to pick your regrets. That’s it – you only have one life to live and you don’t get to do it all. 

Here’s an example of what I mean:

Let’s say you’re a nurse. You work three 12 hour shifts per week and make decent money. 

You feel anxious because you know you have more in you and you want to try something new. 

But trying something new requires time, and a lot of it. 

Maybe you want to go back to school, or work a side job, or change careers completely. 

But – you have a family. 

And you know that any decision you make will require more time away from your spouse and kids. 

What do you choose?

Instead of focusing on what you want, try asking yourself what regrets you could live with?

Would you be able to live with yourself knowing that you had it in you to go back to medical school but never did?

Would you be able to live with the regret of missing your kids' graduations or soccer games because you were busy working 80+ hours a week as a resident?

When you approach decisions with the question what regret can I live with, your decisions become clearer. 

Question:

Think of some decisions you’re struggling with. If you look at them from what you will have to give up, can you live with that regret?

Hopefully, it makes things a little more clear and eases your mind.

You got this.