#002 Unleashing Greatness: Why Men Need to Face The Dragon
The small problems you deliberately ignore will destroy your life.
One of my favorite books is called, There’s No Such Thing As A Dragon by Jack Kent.
It’s a children’s book – about 27 pages long and has more pictures than words. But, it also has one of the most understated and powerful messages of any book I’ve ever read.
The story starts out with the main character, Billy Bixbee, waking up one morning, and to his surprise finding a small dragon in his bedroom.
When he goes downstairs to tell his mother about his discovery she promptly tells him, “There’s no such thing as a dragon!”
Even though Billy knew that the dragon did, in fact, exist. He took his mothers word for it and pretended as though the dragon didn’t exist.
But, the more he ignored the dragon, the larger it grew.
In fact, the dragon grew so big it eventually lifted the house off the foundation and ran down the street after a bread truck.
Later that day Billy’s father arrived home – confused as to why the place where his home once sat was now an empty lot.
Eventually, he found his home, climbed in a window and asked Billy and his wife what had happened.
When Billy attempts to tell his father it was the dragon he is interrupted by his mother saying, “there’s no such thing as a dragon!”
In response to his mother, Billy exclaims there IS a dragon, and it’s a very BIG dragon.
And, as fast as the dragon grew, it began to shrink – all the way back to the size of a kitten.
But, what does this kids book have to do with us?
You constantly hear about the importance of focus.
What are you consuming? What are you watching? Who are you spending time with? Etc, etc.
But, I don't believe that's the full picture.
You should be keenly aware of what you’re ignoring. When you ignore small problems over large periods of time they become catastrophic.
How many times have you said one of the following:
I’ll quit tomorrow…
My diet starts Monday…
I’ll prepare my resume next weekend…
I’ll start going to the gym on Monday…
I’ll start applying for jobs next weekend…
Tomorrow, I’ll ask my significant other on a date…
I need to have “a talk” with my partner, but I’m just not in the mood…
Ignore the wrong things for too long, and you are on the fast track to a slow death.
Ignore the wrong things long enough and you will experience pain. Not necessarily physical pain, but you will be anxious, frustrated, and bitter about what could have been – and even worse – it will be your fault and you know it.
We all know this inherently, so why do we keep ignoring problems in our life and allowing them to pile up?
I’ve found that I typically do this for three reasons.
First, because doing that first small action is hard.
Having a difficult conversation with your significant other is hard.
Not smoking another cigarette is hard.
Putting down the ice cream and going to the gym is hard.
Preparing your resume and applying for a job is hard.
There’s a level of discomfort involved with all of these actions (or inactions) that we inherently try to avoid.
Second, because we lie to ourselves in order to diminish the importance of taking action.
For me, this has historically stemmed from fear.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done this, and 100% of the time it has been the wrong decision.
Going back to college after I dropped out was “hard” so I put it off. Bad decision.
Delaying going to law school because it wasn’t the right time, too busy, not sure if that was “my passion,” and whatever other bull shit excuse I came up with at the time. Bad decision.
Taking 7 YEARS to quit dipping because “I’ll quit tomorrow.” Bad decision.
And on, and on, and on.
Every single one of those things was “hard” and every single time I put it off I regretted it.
Ironically, I found that after I took action:
I greatly over-exaggerated the difficulty of the task, and
In the long run whatever action I was avoiding ended up being a massive benefit to me.
Third, we’re not looking long term.
We’re addicted to quick and easy wins. And if we’re only looking at the short to medium term for that quick and easy win it can be catastrophic for our life.
My significant other and I aren’t connecting, but I don’t want to have that tough conversation because I don’t want the discomfort that may come along with it. Let me know how that works out in a year or two.
I know I have some baggage from a tough time or traumatic event in my life, but I don’t want to talk to a therapist. Do this long enough and you will unknowingly dump your baggage all over your friends and family by making your problems, their problems.
Or the really hard one – I hate my job and I’m miserable, but it pays the bills so I guess I’ll keep doing what I’m doing. We’ve all met that miserable old battle ax at work – and that’s exactly what that person said too. Don’t be that guy.
A deeper question to ponder is:
Who in your life is playing the role of Billy’s mother?
In other words, who is encouraging or enabling you to continue to ignore important things in your life to your detriment?
This is worth thinking about because it is a difficult question that only you can answer.
To make things even harder, these people in our lives are usually quite close to us.
They are more comfortable with who we are in the present than who we know we can become in the future. Thus, they have an interest in seeing us stay where we are – maintaining the status quo.
Read that again.
Use that as a filter next time someone in your life gives you unsolicited advice.
Now, I’m not saying abandon everyone in your life to become some lone wolf, sigma male [insert internet bull shit slogan] – that’s generally a bad strategy.
But, I am encouraging you to take an honest hard look at the people in your life and whether or not they are helping you become the best version of yourself.
The Question:
Take an inventory of the things that are important to you – your marriage, health, career, etc — and ask yourself what actions or decisions have I been avoiding, and how will this impact me one, three, five or more years down the road?
If you make that your daily or weekly mantra – and really take action on it – your life will improve.
Because, as Billy Bixbee showed us – all it takes is a little attention when the dragon is small to avoid a whole bunch of problems.
The world needs you to become that vision of yourself in the future – and in case there’s nobody in your life who has told you this – you can fulfill that vision.
You got this.