#014 Young Men Need Adversity
Adversity aligns interests and strong relationships are forged through adversity.
Firefighting has taught me many lessons, some good, some bad, but none more obvious than how adversity bonds men like few other experiences.
Firehouses are just like any other workplace.
There is a hierarchy of bosses and people who work underneath them along with the usual “drama” that happens with any group of people that are forced to live with one another.
Some people will naturally get along better than they will with others, and there will inevitably be some people you just don’t like.
But, there’s a moment in every firehouse where all of that seemingly disappears for a few hours.
When a fire call comes in, the tones will go off in the station and everyone rushes in the door in their respective vehicles.
Many times, the calls are for false alarms or other benign incidents. But there are also many times the call is serious.
Incidents like a big fire, a dramatic rescue, or some other catastrophic event happens, and everyone is forced to work together to stop the destruction or solve the problem.
And, when everyone safely returns from the call, for at least the next few hours, everyone gets along great.
Guys are laughing, making jokes (usually about each other), and recounting their perspective from the fire they just “survived.”
But why is this important? And why does this even happen?
If anything, you may think that after witnessing some form of destruction people would be somber over what they just experienced.
It’s because men bond through adversity.
Of course, I’m speaking in generalities as every man is different, but on the whole, adversity faced by a team of men drives them together, not apart.
Why do coaches make pre-season so miserable for everyone?
Why are soldiers so close when they come home from war?
Why are fighters so close with their long-time trainer?
It’s because adversity aligns interests and strong relationships are forged through adversity.
Yesterday I posted a video talking about the four reasons men in our society are failing. The video covered a lot, but one of the issues I’ve noticed over the years is that young men struggle to build a community of other male friends.
You can see it here:
Many of the ways men traditionally bond with one another (activity, adversity, and competition) are shamed. This is incredibly damaging to so many, and unfortunately there are less and less men connecting with one another.
If you’re a young man you should chase adversity.
This doesn't mean that you need to go to war or put out fires, but it does mean that you need a mountain to climb or a battle to fight.
Honestly, the easiest way to do this is at the gym. Get in the gym, find a friend who’s at about your level and push yourselves as hard as you can.
But, maybe you’re not the gym type? Perhaps, you prefer more intellectual pursuits?
Great!
Find another guy to build something with or against.
Maybe it’s growing a Twitter/X account, maybe it's a small business, or maybe it’s just competing on grades in difficult classes.
Either way, whatever it is, it should fit two criteria. It should (1) be just beyond your comfort zone, and (2) should be something you deem valuable (a good indicator is if the thought of doing it scares you).
Start there, even if you have to by yourself, because I promise you will find teammates along the way.
Question:
What is something that you could pursue that would force you to push yourself beyond your perceived boundaries?
You got this.