#001 Young Men Need Discipline - Here's Why.
Without discipline you will never achieve anything of meaning.
You’ve likely seen social media influencers ranging from “millionaire” internet entrepreneurs to fitness gurus screaming buzzwords like hustle, and discipline.
What comes to mind when you hear that?
For me, I think of someone who,
Wakes up at 4am,
Only eats raw steak and drinks black coffee, and
Willfully punishes themselves – on a daily basis.
While that may work for some people, it’s an incomplete picture of what discipline is and why it’s important to be disciplined.
More importantly, it ignores the reason why young men, in particular, should embrace discipline.
What is discipline?
Let’s start with the dictionary and then see if we can create a simpler definition.
Discipline (dĭs′ə-plĭn)
noun
Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
Control obtained by enforcing compliance or order.
Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.
There’s a lot there, let’s break it down.
Training: This is something you must do regularly. Going to the gym once won’t make you any stronger, writing one sentence won’t make you a novelist, playing one note won’t make you a musician – you get the point.
Specific character or pattern of behavior: Ok, so our training must have a specific aim. We’re doing something repeatedly during our “training” in order to move towards a specific goal or outcome.
Improvement: Presumably your training is moving you towards something you perceive as positive.
Order: The opposite of order is chaos. Chaotic movements or actions will generally not move you towards any specific goal or outcome – just create more anxiety and confusion.
Self-Control: A synonym for self-mastery – something we should all aspire to.
Here’s my personal definition of discipline:
Something you do on a regular basis in order to achieve a positive outcome which brings about order and self mastery.
Does this mean 4am wake ups and bone chilling ice baths?
It might. But, generally no.
If you’re not sure where to start, pick an area in your life you would like to see change and commit to 1 small action on a daily basis.
More on this in a second...
Why should young men be disciplined?
I’m convinced that everyone struggles with self-confidence to some extent.
It’s almost a law of nature that the people who act the most confident, are usually the most self conscious. Believe it or not, this includes the overwhelming majority of social media influencers too.
A lot of social media gurus will tell you about the importance of affirmations, the law of attraction, and whatever other feel good flavor of the day is.
But, I’ve got news for you – it’s 99% nonsense.
It plays on the human desire to get something for nothing.
Example: “Think positive thoughts to manifest millions of dollars….” Low Input → Huge Output = Total BS.
Yet, the gurus only make a passing mention – if any mention at all – about the actions you must take in order to achieve lasting change and self confidence.
This is precisely where discipline comes in.
You must be disciplined in order to obtain any lasting and meaningful achievement, and meaningful achievement is the foundation of true self confidence.
Think about it – think of the last thing you achieved – that you were really proud of (aka – you found it meaningful).
Was it an accident?
Or, did you put in time and effort to do something on a regular basis to achieve a positive outcome in order to bring about achievement?
My guess is likely the latter.
You can repeat positive mantras and think positive thoughts all day (and you should), but until you have proven to yourself that you have what it takes to overcome adversity, you will never achieve true self confidence.
Discipline is the foundation of meaningful achievement, and meaningful achievement is what inspires true self confidence.
Always prioritize self confidence over self esteem.
How do you become disciplined?
Ok. So we know what discipline is, and we know why it’s important. But, how do you actually become disciplined?
One of the best quotes I’ve heard in a long time (I apologize, I can’t remember who said or else I would give proper attribution):
The longest road is usually the fastest shortcut.
Discipline is not something that happens in an instant. That’s motivation – it feels good, but it’s fleeting.
In order to be disciplined, you must be in it for the long haul.
In other words, this is something you must commit to day after day after day.
And, if you’re someone who is in a particularly bad spot (nihilistic, chronic failures, struggling with addiction, etc), your best bet at building discipline is by creating micro habits aimed at conquering a fear.
Here are some micro-habit examples:
Habit: Cold shower for 10 seconds every morning.
Aim: Overcoming your fear of physical discomfort.
Habit: Writing at least 1 sentence everyday.
Aim: Overcoming your fear of who you may become or the things you may discover about yourself.
Habit: Starting a social media channel and posting short form content. (eg. Twitter, YouTube, etc.)
Aim: Overcoming your fear of rejection, ridicule, and shame.
You may be asking yourself why you should aim your micro-habit directly at a fear as opposed to something more enjoyable?
The answer is because whatever you choose to do there must be some element of discomfort. This is what makes the achievement meaningful – and demonstrates to you that you have what it takes to face obstacles and adversity.
Ultimately, the reason you should do hard things (even micro-hard things) is because doing hard things gives you tangible proof that you are capable of overcoming various obstacles and challenges that life throws at you.
When I first started posting content on YouTube, I was terrified.
What if someone I know saw the video?
What if someone called the chief and complained?
What if someone didn’t like what I had to say and left nasty comments, or even threatened me?
But, I committed to posting 2 videos a week, every week. No. Matter. What.
Side note: the videos were absolutely terrible. Bad audio, bad video, bad lighting, you name it, it sucked. If you don’t believe me – go watch early videos on the channel.
Now, that may seem small to you, but to me, it was a meaningful achievement that I committed to. The other crazy thing is that after I did that – not only did my own confidence improve, but every single aspect of my life improved as well.
That’s not the same as perfect – no achievement will make your life all butterflies and rainbows.
But because I was able to master one small area of my life – conquering the fear of putting myself out there in the public domain – other areas improved too.
HERE’S THE KEY: Whatever habit you choose, set the bar as low as you possibly can in order to create a “habit ramp.” Consistency is king so this is the MOST important factor in any achievement.
A habit ramp is one where you set the bar so low it’s almost impossible for you to not commit.
Every time you complete your habit you have notched an achievement – over time those micro-achievements allow you to raise the bar ever so slightly as you build momentum.
Then 6, 12, 18, 24 months later:
Micro-discipline created micro-achievements which created micro-confidence,
Discipline created achievements which created confidence, then
Macro-discipline created macro-achievements which created macro-confidence.
But…
You must take the first step.
The world needs you to be your best self.
You got this.